


Laws of Equivalent Exchange

by Rosemary_and_Time



Series: What if... (Dsmp AU one-shots) [1]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, AweSamdude feels terrible, BAMF Toby Smith | Tubbo, Best Friends, Blood and Violence, Bombs, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Matter of Life and Death, No Romance, Poisoning, Ranboo & TommyInnit Friendship (Video Blogging RPF), Rituals, Sad Toby Smith | Tubbo, Self-Sacrifice, Temporary Character Death, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit Friendship, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:42:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29848620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosemary_and_Time/pseuds/Rosemary_and_Time
Summary: Spoilers for March 1stTubbo can't imagine a world without Tommy, yet it's the world he lives in now.But if there's a chance, even a slim one, that Tommy can be brought back... he needs to try.Tubbo's always been called a pawn, but a pawn can become a queen, so long as it survives long enough to get there.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Clay | Dream & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, No Romantic Relationship(s), Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Ranboo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Sam | Awesamdude & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sam | Awesamdude & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot
Series: What if... (Dsmp AU one-shots) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2194452
Comments: 16
Kudos: 176





	Laws of Equivalent Exchange

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote 13k words in three days..... This is about the characters in the Dream SMP, not the people playing them.  
> I really hope you enjoy.
> 
> TW: Graphic violence (not the events of the 1st though, those are mentioned but occur before this story starts), Blood, poisoning, death, grief and self-blame, self-sacrifice, disassociation (brief)
> 
> Everything is Platonic and friendship!  
> It shouldn't need to be said, but I'm just making sure.

Tubbo didn’t believe it at first.

It took days for the reality to sink in.

It took seeing Tommy’s body, carried gently upon a stretcher, broken and bruised, for Tubbo to believe it.

Even then… it couldn’t be real. There was just no way it was real. Tommy couldn’t be dead, not now, not after everything they had gone through. Not when he was finally excited for something again, for building his hotel. Not when they were finally free.

No, no, Dream wouldn’t kill Tommy.

But he had. He had killed him, and now Tommy was gone. Tommy was—

Dead. 

Day after day Tubbo’s feet led him unconsciously to the same place, to the front of the prison, where he would stare blankly at those high obsidian walls. Tommy had been trapped there and he hadn’t even known about it. Most days Ranboo would show up and guide him home, mutely talking his hand and leading him back to Snowchester, their hotel too close and painful to stay at. 

He had built it for Tommy after all. Sure, the proposed purpose was competition, but really Tubbo was hoping it would bring them closer again. Before… everything, Tommy and Tubbo did shenanigans like this all the time, their friendly arguments were a staple of their friendship. But since exile… Tubbo had felt further from Tommy in every way. 

He was going to change that. He was going to fix it, to try and get back to how things were. 

That would never happen now.

Tubbo pushed the button by the portal, waiting patiently, eyes drifting as the purple swirled. Eventually he heard AweSamdude, speaking from the front room with a redstone contraption Tubbo didn’t fully understand. There was a time he would have investigated, would have been filled with curiosity to find out how it functioned. He didn’t care anymore.

“Hey Tubbo.” Sam sounded tired, voice raw as if he had been crying or yelling. Tubbo laid a hand on the cool obsidian. “What do you want?”

“Let me see Dream.” Tubbo whispered the words, not yet fully sure why he was here. 

“No. Tubbo, no. I’m not letting you in here.” 

“Why not? Because it’s not safe? In case you hadn’t figured it out, I don’t really care.” Tubbo let out a single broken laugh, no humor to be found. 

“It won’t do any good, trust me, seeing Dream will only make things worse.” Sam’s voice was stern, Tubbo knew he had gone full warden mode. A bit of heat, of anger, rose in his chest at the sound. It was Sam’s job as “Warden” that had let Tommy stay in there, that had given Dream the chance to kill him.

“I don’t care Sam. I need to talk to him. Let me in.” Tubbo waited, counting the seconds as Sam considered his request. It was denied unceremoniously.

“No.”

“Screw you Sam, you acted like you cared about him, like someone finally cared, then you let him be locked in there for over a week, with everything that hurts him the most!!!” Tubbo didn’t know where the anger was coming from, but he welcomed a change from the overwhelming numbness. He slammed a fist into the obsidian frame, snarling despite no one being there to see his expression. “You practically asked Dream to kill him!!! You tortured him!” 

There was no response from within the prison walls. 

Tubbo continued to scream and curse until Ranboo came to collect him, soothing him enough to convince him to return home. The brunette cradled his bruised knuckles to his chest. He wasn’t giving up.

* * *

“Let me in.” 

Another day would pass, and Tubbo would return with the same request. Every time the two, one inside the prison walls and one out, would repeat the same routine. 

“No. I’m not doing it Tubbo.” 

Ranboo had stopped bothering to follow Tubbo, instead opting to wait until evening to come get him. There just wasn’t a point, Tubbo had a single-minded determination, and he would just continue to come back until he was too tired to protest.

And now he sunk to the ground, leaning his back against the obsidian. The brunette boy sat silently, considering his options, considering what the point of it all was. 

“It’s not right. How he died.” Tubbo spoke to no one, though only Sam was there to hear. “He wouldn’t die like that, so easily and silently. Tommy would go out with a bang, you know?” 

“That’s… that’s not always how death works Tubbo.” Sam sounded guilty as ever. Tubbo didn’t accept the unspoken apology. 

“I’m going to see Tommy again Sam.” Tubbo rose slowly to his feet, mindlessly pulling out his trident and spinning it in his hand. “I miss him too much, the world is just wrong without him.”

“Wait, Tubbo, what do you mean?” Tubbo didn’t respond to Sam’s frantic question, in fact, he barely heard it. Memories were louder than ever lately, louder than reality. Much more appealing.

Even the worst times were brighter in retrospect, if only because Tubbo was whole then, because he wasn’t yet missing a part of himself. Tommy and Tubbo were best friends, two halves of a whole. Exile had almost broken both of them. And now—

Tubbo was almost surprised to feet wetness on his feet, unaware of when he had walked over to the beachfront. 

It was Sam’s fault. It was Dream’s. It was his own. 

If Tubbo hadn’t given in and exiled Tommy… this wouldn’t have happened. Tommy wouldn’t have felt the need to visit Dream that one last time.

With a toss of his trident Tubbo was in the ocean, dragged out to sea by the glimmering enchantments bound around the weapon. He wasn’t thinking about anything, really, as he threw it again and again with no real destination. Tubbo’s hair clung to his skull, he was soaked to the skin, he wasn’t going anywhere. He was just moving through the water, letting the chill sink into his bones because at least he was feeling something, doing something.

Tommy had loved the freedom of an enchanted trident.

Tommy shouldn’t have died alone, it wasn’t right. 

“Tubbo!!!” A shout broke through his ruminations, making him mess up his next trident throw. It fell short, only propelling him a few meters in the water. “Tubbo!! Come on, let’s talk about this.” 

Sam landed in the water next to him, patches of green skin glistening in the reflection of light on the surface. He held his own trident loosely, treading water easily alongside the smaller brunette. Tubbo regarded him passively, whatever Sam thought he was doing, he wasn’t. At least he didn’t think he was, honestly, he wasn’t really sure what he was doing. 

He was just angry and upset, so he let his unconscious mind guide him. 

“What?” Tubbo was too tired to lace the word with venom, having to speak quickly to prevent his mouth from filling with seawater while he spoke. 

“Come back to shore, okay?” Tubbo couldn’t tell if Sam was crying, or if it was just wetness from the waves. “I’ll consider letting you in to see Dream, maybe even tomorrow. If that’s what you need, then I will make it happen.” 

Tubbo briefly felt a pang of guilt for unintentionally manipulating AweSamdude into doing what he wanted, but it quickly faded. He needed to see Dream, besides, Sam was no less guilty than he was. 

“Okay.” 

With that, Tubbo followed Sam back to shore, matching his trident throw for throw. They both climbed back onto the beach, soaked and exhausted both physically and mentally. Sam seemed hesitant to leave him, hovering over him as he sat on the grass, sighing as he looked back at those prison walls.

Tommy hated blackstone and obsidian. He shouldn’t have died trapped within it. It just wasn’t right. 

“I don’t forgive you.” Tubbo spoke bitterly, refusing to look up at the creeper hybrid who stood at his shoulder.

“I know.” Sam took a deep breath that seemed to get caught in his throat, hitching up painfully. “I don’t forgive me either.” 

Tubbo didn’t move from the beachfront until Ranboo arrived, somehow sensing that he was needed. Tubbo had one last thing to say before he left. 

“Tomorrow, right Sam?”

Sam nodded slowly, brow furrowing as he met Tubbo’s eyes.

“Yeah, tomorrow.”

Tubbo let himself be guided back home again, numbly refusing to answer Ranboo’s indignant questions about why he was soaked to the bone. 

Tomorrow.

* * *

The prison was… strange. Tubbo didn’t like it. 

It felt so cold and impersonal, going through a hundred security checks just to get to the regular cells, much less the maximum security one that Dream was in. That Tommy had died in. Tubbo numbly wondered if there would be blood, or if Sam had cleaned it all up. 

There was a wall of lava in front of him, bubbling and popping. Tubbo had never understood before why Tommy would get distracted and stare into the molten rock, but now it was strangely mesmerizing—

“Alright. I’m going to send the bridge over, but I am NOT going to lower the barrier between you and Dream, understand?” Tubbo nodded mutely as the last bits of lava disappeared into the floor. “I’m also keeping the lava down, it’s a risk, but I—I’m not letting you out of my sight.”

Tubbo sighed, not having the restraint to keep the biting words from rolling off his tongue. 

“Nice of you to care, now.” 

The bridge started to move, and Tubbo stepped along with it. His heart started pounding faster and faster as he grew ever nearer to the cell where Dream, where Tommy’s murderer, was confined. And then he was there, far before he was ready. He tried to keep his eyes fixed only on Dream, but he couldn’t help but look around. The bloodstained stone made his stomach turn. 

“Hello there, Tubbo.” Dream sauntered up to the barrier smoothly, green eyes glinting like a predator closing in on its prey. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” 

“Shut up. You killed Tommy.” Tubbo had to confirm it… he knew, but sometimes it still didn’t feel real. Despite being in the room where it had happened, Tubbo still wanted to believe it was all some sort of trick. Dream’s face fell.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t really mean to. I suppose I didn’t know my own strength, we were fighting and he fell and hit his head. If it’s any consolation, it happened quickly.” Dream shrugged, leaning down on the barrier, resting his elbows on the divide and putting his chin in his hands. 

“Bring him back.” 

There it was, why Tubbo had come here, why he had insisted on talking to Dream. He wasn’t sure how many others knew about the book that Dream claimed to possess, but it didn’t really matter. Dream’s face lit up like Christmas had come early this year, the grin that split it was far too wide, too sinister. 

“Oh? Is that why you’re here?” Dream took a moment to gloat, Tubbo couldn’t care less.

“Yes. Bring him back.” 

“It’s not that easy, I would need some things, besides… do you really think I would just bring him back, for nothing?” Dream’s smirk told Tubbo everything he needed to know, but his mind was made up. It was made up a long time ago. 

“What do you need?” Tubbo asked the question shortly, biting at his lip when he anticipated the answer.

“Well, obviously I will need to be let out of here… Though you’re not stupid, you already knew that, I’m sure.” Tubbo did know that. He had already thought it through.

“Done. You’ll be out in a couple days. What else?” Dream tilted his head and raised an eyebrow, stifling a laugh. 

“You know Tubbo, I always thought I’d be having this conversation with Tommy, not you. Who would have thought you were so decisive, why am I only seeing it now?” 

Tubbo couldn’t take it any longer, he lunged forward, rattling the iron bars atop the netherite blocks with a snarl. 

“SHUT UP!!! Just tell me what you need!” 

Dream nodded, smile somehow growing wider. Tubbo fought back the urge to vomit. 

“Alright Tubbo, alright. I’ve got everything I need to do it stored away, once I’m out of here I can set it up. There’s only one thing…”

“Spit it out Dream.”

“There isn’t something for nothing in this world Tubbo, you can’t just bring someone back to life that easily. There has to be a cost, an… expenditure. You have to make an exchange, an equivalent exchange. A life for a life.” 

Tubbo understood what Dream was implying. 

“And I suppose that’s not just any sort of life, is it?” 

“Oh no, it’s actually quite specific. It must be the same life, the third and final life carries more weight. The people must be roughly the same age as well… I’m sure you understand. For this to work the exchange needs to be as close to equivalent as possible.”

“Okay. It’s a deal.” 

Dream briefly appeared surprised, though he masked it immediately.

“That easy?” Tubbo nodded. He had suspected something of this sort since before he visited. He had made his decision days ago. Tommy shouldn’t have died like this. 

“Only one thing, you should know that running away after I break you out would be… unwise.”

“And why is that?” Tubbo let a grim grin trace his face, finally having something over on the bastard that had killed his best friend.

“I’m using bombs, bombs that put off a significant amount of radiation. Unless you want to die, slowly and painfully, I suggest you meet me within twenty-four hours of escaping. I’ve got treatments. So don’t go back on our deal. Understood?” Dream looked oddly surprised, almost amused at Tubbo’s planning. The green-eyed man shook his head, humming a breathy response.

“Understood. Here.” Dream handed a single slip of paper through the bars, all it held was a drawn smiley face, one that matched his mask. “Give this to Ranboo after I’m out, he’ll bring you to me. Follow him closely, I wouldn’t want you to miss your chance.” 

“I _would_ want you to die with your skin melting from radiation, but I’ll put that aside for now.” Tubbo responded automatically, pocketing the slip of paper. “Sam, I’m ready to go!” 

The shout drew the warden’s attention immediately, the bridge was sent across almost before Tubbo was prepared, and he was out of Dream’s cell in moments. He took a last glance back as the lava started to fall, Dream gave him a happy wave. Tubbo didn’t return the gesture. 

“Tubbo, are you alright? What happened in there?” Sam sounded genuinely concerned as they started the process of exiting, hesitantly laying a hand on Tubbo’s shoulder. 

“Not much. I suppose I just needed some closure.” 

Tubbo went home to Snowchester before Ranboo came to pick him up that day. He had some preparations to make, and a letter to write. Several letters, actually. But it would be fine, he could figure it out, he had to. 

He had to get Tommy back, whatever the price. 

* * *

Tubbo had been preparing nonstop since visiting Dream.

He had barely even seen Ranboo in that time, though his friend kept trying to find him, the enderman hybrid would not stop seeking him out and giving him concerned glances. Tubbo finally relented, giving Ranboo the coordinates of the entrance to his bunker and inviting him in as he made the final alterations and programed the flight path. 

Ranboo walked in slowly and hesitantly, eyes tracing the wiring and metal that covered several workbenches. His gaze eventually settled on the two nukes readied on their respective launch pads, holes in the ceiling opened up to give them clearance to fly. Tubbo knew it was wrong to use Ranboo like this, as a twisted sort of messenger, but it was necessary.

It was necessary to bring Tommy back.

“Hey… uh, I thought you like, decommissioned those things.” Ranboo sounded seriously worried, Tubbo figured it was for good reason. He typed a few last commands on the keypad before turning around to face his friend. 

“Hi Ranboo, thanks for coming.” 

“No, seriously Tubbo, what are you doing?” Ranboo took another step closer, heterochromatic eyes darting about. 

“I have to get Tommy back Ranboo, you understand, don’t you?” Tubbo rubbed his eyes exhaustedly with the back of his hand, he hadn’t really slept in a couple days. He hadn’t slept well in weeks. 

“No, Tubbo I don’t understand. I mean, I get wanting Tommy back, I do, but how exactly are nuclear weapons going to help?” Ranboo spoke lightly, as if worried he would scare Tubbo off or startle him into doing something rash. The brunette resented the coddling.

“Dream will bring him back, okay? I just need to get him out of prison and then he’ll do it.”

“WHAT!” Ranboo jerked backwards, panic tinging his voice. “You can’t be serious, Tubbo, you can’t set Dream free, he’ll—he’ll kill you!” 

Okay, that was funny. That was funny enough to elicit a laugh, the sort of manic cackling that would set anyone’s hair on end. Ranboo looked positively disturbed by the time Tubbo had recovered enough to speak again. 

“I know Ranboo” Tubbo couldn’t fight back another giggle. “That’s sort of part of the plan.” 

“What do you mean!?! What is happening? I don’t understand?!” Ranboo was working himself into a frenzy, so Tubbo reached out a hand, gripping his friend’s arm gently. 

“It’s an exchange sort of thing, to bring Tommy back I need to die, but it’s okay. I already wrote some people letters, I hope you’ll deliver them after everything.” Tubbo sighed as Ranboo gaped in astonishment. “Really, I know Tommy wasn’t supposed to die, not like that.”

Not without me. 

“So I’m bringing him back. The nukes will launch in minutes, then I just need to meet up with Dream.” It was so simple on paper. Tubbo smiled grimly when Ranboo pulled his arm away. He knew his friend would object, but he needed him there. “Don’t worry, I may be angry at Sam, but I did warn him to leave the area. If he was smart enough to follow my directions, he’ll be fine.” 

“No, no Tubbo, this isn’t okay.” Ranboo gasped for air like it was escaping him, painful tears forming in his eyes. “You can’t just do this, you can’t. Listen to me, if you free Dream then, then die… Tommy’s never going to be free either! He’ll try to get you back and then what?! Do you two just take turns sacrificing yourselves for all eternity, forever under his thumb?!? That’s a terrible ending, a terrible story, a terrible life!! Do you seriously think that’s what Tommy would want?!” 

“Tommy would want to be alive Ranboo!! He finally wanted to be alive, to live freely, and Dream took it away! It’s not fair, alright, it sucks, but Tommy deserves to be alive! Do you seriously think getting killed by your abuser in his prison cell, by the person who made you into someone you hated, is a good ending?!?! It’s not!!” 

Tubbo’s chest heaved as he shouted, tears falling down his face before he could wipe them away. Ranboo matched him breath for breath.

“NO! It’s not good, but this isn’t any better! He’s just going to be tortured again, and you’ll be dead! You’ll be—" Ranboo’s voice hitched, he curled over on himself, hands wrapped tightly around his midsection. “He’ll be hurt more, and you’ll be gone… Please Tubbo, think about this.”

Tubbo had thought about it as much as he wanted to, but it still hurt to see Ranboo wiping away tears and wincing as they burnt the skin. Ranboo was his friend too, he really was. He was sorry for what he had to do. 

“Ranboo, I thought logically about things in the past, and it never helped. It never led me to the right decision. I thought logically before I exiled Tommy, and if I hadn’t, then none of this—none of this would have happened.” Tubbo tried to keep some of the guilt out of his voice; that wasn’t why he was doing this. “I love you Ranboo, and I love Tommy. I wrote him a letter, okay, you have to make sure he gets it, because that’s how he will be free. And Sam, Sam really needs the letter I wrote for him too, I promise they will fix things.” 

Tubbo heard the sound of the rockets beginning their automated launch preparations behind him, he turned to watch as they fired up. His hand clutched to his chest, reassuring himself the aforementioned letters were there, were safe. The pocket also held a slip of paper, small next to the thick bundles of carefully written notes. 

He felt guilty for what he intended to do, but only because he knew Ranboo would hate himself for it. Tubbo had written him a letter too. 

The launch sequence initiated with little fanfare. There was a flash of heat and light and the first rocket was gone. A minute later the second followed, and it was done. In a few minutes Dream would be free. 

Tubbo dropped to his knees. 

He had made this decision. Things were on a path… a road he could no longer divert. 

Ranboo dropped to the floor next to him.

“I can’t believe you actually did it.” 

Tubbo bit his lip as he withdrew the slip of paper… then he folded it back up and returned it to his pocket. He would do what he needed to in a moment. For now… he just wanted to spend a bit more time with his friend. 

* * *

Tubbo followed the shell of his friend through the woods. 

Ranboo had frozen when Tubbo showed him the note, then his eyes went wide, unseeing as he turned and started to walk away. All Tubbo could do was follow. 

There was no path or obvious markings leading the way, Ranboo would randomly pause, tilting his head before continuing onward. Tubbo waited patiently. He was walking towards his death after all, there was little rush. His plan was sound, he believed his plan would work, but there was always a chance…

There was a chance he could still fail, that he would be making things worse in the end. But now it was set in motion, there was nothing Tubbo could do to stop it. He had to follow through. 

If he played his cards right, Tommy would be back soon. 

He tried not to think about the cost. He hoped Dream would at least make it quick, but he had little faith in the masked man’s sense of mercy. Whatever the pain, Tubbo was certain he had felt worse. Nothing could quite compare to being torn apart by fireworks while trapped in a tiny box. 

And then, all too soon, they had arrived. 

Ranboo stopped outside the mouth of a cave, standing still as a statue. Tubbo could see light bouncing off the walls within, a tunnel leading to death and life. He didn’t walk in immediately, instead Tubbo turned to Ranboo’s frozen form, removed the letters from his own pocket, and gently placed them in Ranboo’s coat. They would be safe there, he hoped Ranboo would remember enough to deliver them, but if not, his own letter gave instructions. 

With that, Tubbo turned to enter the cave—

Then spun back around despite himself, rushing to Ranboo and hugging him tightly around the waist, holding him close with desperate arms. 

“If this all goes wrong, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Tubbo sniffled at the tears in his eyes. “I know you probably won’t remember this, but you know that you’re my friend. I just—I have to do this. And I’m sorry for using you.” 

Ranboo’s arms didn’t return the embrace, but when Tubbo looked up to his face a single tear was streaking down his cheek. Tubbo made sure to wipe it away before it could burn the skin. 

“Goodbye Ranboo.”

Tubbo walked into the tunnel.

No amount of thought could have prepared him for what waited on the other side. Dream stood up from where he had been crouching, twisting his mask in front of his face as he rose to his feet. The room was little more than a cave, poorly lit with a few scattered lanterns. Tubbo’s eyes were immediately drawn to the floor.

There was a pattern there, carved into the stone and filled with bits of powdered gold that shimmered in the light. It was a square, perfectly shaped with each corner holding an item. Each intersection had another line that branched off behind it, all at the same angle. It rather looked like the front of a box if the back half had been abruptly cut off, two dimensional on the floor of the cave. 

“Did you bring the treatment?” Dream got right to what he wanted, holding out a hand expectantly. Tubbo saw the way it trembled, obviously he had gotten a pretty severe dose of radiation before he escaped. Good. 

“Yep. Here.” Tubbo handed him a bottle with a vaguely opaque liquid. “I mixed it with water for you, but it’s going to be bitter. Fair warning.” 

Dream pulled his mask away from his face and let it fall around his neck, grimacing as he drank the mixture. 

“This will fix it?”

“More or less. It’s potassium iodide, so it’ll help the radioactive stuff in your system not… mess you up. I wasn’t exactly sure how much to give you, and honestly I didn’t really care that much, so there is more at my house if you need it. Look in my basement, there’s a white powder in a jar, just take more of that if you’re still feeling sick.” Tubbo shrugged half-heartedly, hoping Dream wouldn’t push the issue. Healing his radiation sickness wasn’t why he was here after all. 

“Fine.” Dream took that as enough of a response, walking slowly around the design on the floor. “Then we’re ready to go.” 

Tubbo took a deep breath, trying not to let it hitch in his throat. On each corner of the square were items, small, but meaningful. A compass, engraved with his name. A nametag, the word Henry written in Tommy’s unmistakable scrawl. A hat, adorned in the colors of L’Manburg… Tubbo didn’t like to think of where Dream managed to steal that from. And the last corner was empty, as if waiting. Dream gestured to it proudly. 

“Whenever you’re ready Tubbo, it’s all set up.” Tubbo swallowed heavily as Dream pocketed the book he was holding, dark leather stained and worn. It was time. It was time.

It was time to bring Tommy back. 

Tubbo stepped over to the empty spot, not letting himself think or hesitate. His mouth felt dry, but he managed to whisper a final question anyway, fearing the answer more than he cared to admit.

“How—How are you going to do it?” Tubbo winced as Dream stepped forward and pushed him to the ground, guiding him to his knees. Dream withdrew his axe and Tubbo flinched away, automatically raising his hands up to protect himself. “Dream! Just, just tell me what you’re doing, okay? Please, I just need to be prepared—”

Tubbo was cut off by Dream bringing the axe around, knocking him over as the butt connected with his ribs. It was a half-hearted blow, one obviously intended to immobilize him, rather than truly injure. It still hurt.

“I really should be thanking you Tubbo. I didn’t mean to kill Tommy, honestly I didn’t.” Dream circled where Tubbo laid prone, gasping to get air back into his lungs. “It ruined a lot of my plans.”

Tubbo screamed as the axe was brought back down and his leg—

“DREAM!! STOP!! Please why?!” Tubbo gasped for air as he heard the bone in his leg crack, as he felt it shatter under the weight of the blow. It hurt, it hurt so badly.

“Then you came along, always so willing to do what I told you to do, what anyone told you to do.” Dream sneered as he readjusted his position, Tubbo writhed as he tried to get away from the pain that flooded his body. “Always the perfect pawn, ready to be sacrificed for a better exchange.”

Dream dropped into a crouch in front of him, axe discarded on the ground. Tubbo could have tried to grab it…. But that wasn’t why he was here. One of his hands crept unconsciously to a hope held close to his chest, tied on a simple string.

“For this to work, you need to be hurt in the same way as he was when he died. Besides, I can’t have you running away now. Not when I’m so close to winning.” Tubbo tried to twist away when Dream grabbed a handful of his hair, gripping Dream’s wrists in a futile attempt to free himself. “Stop fighting Tubbo, we both know this is what you want, to bring Tommy back. We both know that his life is worth it. So—”

Tubbo saw stars as Dream slammed his skull into the stone beneath him.

“Stop—” Again, everything was blurring, it hurt—“Fighting me!!”

Tubbo blinked heavily, the world was spinning around him. He couldn’t move, he just lay on his side, feeling the throbbing of his head and the ache of his leg. Warm blood trickled down his neck and pooled on his collarbone. 

“I can’t wait to play with Tommy some more.” Dream spoke from out of sight, and then there was a flash of metal, and then Tubbo screamed.

He shrieked, feral and choked as he got punched in the gut. Or rather… Tubbo gripped a hand around where the pressure was, it returned to his face covered in blood. Dream walked away from him, casting the bloodied knife aside as he started to read from the book, shouting strongly into the echoing chamber. 

Tubbo felt the world beginning to fade as the blood poured from his body and into the groves carved into the floor. 

He didn’t fight to stay awake, he didn’t bother trying to prolong his own pain. He let his mind drift as his senses faded one-by-one…

Then he was drifting, lost in his own mind. It wasn’t unpleasant, the space between worlds, where one waited to respawn if they had a life available. Tubbo knew he didn’t, so he wasn’t surprised when a current seemed to catch him, pulling him towards whatever destination awaited a failed president. A failed friend. 

He was pleased to see someone going the other direction, drifting nearer as if to pass him by. Tubbo reached out, trying to grasp Tommy’s ethereal form for even a moment—

_“Tommy…”_

It wasn’t really like speaking, Tommy’s hand held his, and he could communicate without sound. The words flowed more as feelings, emotions. Tommy was confused, but the current was already trying to pull them apart, to deliver them to their individual destinations. 

_“Just run Tommy, don’t listen to Dream. Just run, trust me, trust me—”_

They were pulled apart long before Tubbo could communicate everything he would have wanted to. Tommy faded away into the distance, and Tubbo was cast onto shore. He felt at peace, wherever he was.

“Tubbo?” 

* * *

Tommy was safe and comfortable, held in Wilbur’s arms, sobbing into his brother’s shoulder.

He was happy to see him again, but so… horrified. He had died alone, just like that, after everything…

It felt wrong. It felt like such a letdown. Tommy had worked so hard to recover, to regain a trace of who he was, who he wanted to be, and it was all torn away in an instant. Wilbur whispered soothing nothings in his ear, mummering apologies. 

Then he was ripped away, torn from the warmth and safety. He didn’t even have time to protest as the very universe twisted to grab him and pull him back—

Back where?

Tommy floated in the current, the ethereal space making time seem unreal. Why was he here? Why couldn’t the world just let him rest, for once, just let him rest.

_“Tommy…”_

The voice—it was Tubbo, unmistakably. Tommy would know his best friend anywhere, even here where nothing was quite real and he wasn’t sure if he existed at all, he knew it was Tubbo. The brunette grabbed his hand, gripping it desperately, Tommy didn’t know what was happening. Was Tubbo dead too?

_“Just run Tommy, don’t listen to Dream. Just run, trust me, trust me—”_

Tommy was yanked away from his best friend…

He was pulled and twisted and gasping—

Gasping—

Breathing. He was breathing. Real, physical breaths, that made his chest move and his throat ache. His hands felt cold, but he could feel them…

How? Tommy forced himself to open his eyes, surprised that he could. He had to blink rapidly, all he could see was flickering light at first. But he was breathing. He was alive, somehow, someway, he was alive. Again. 

It didn’t make sense—

“Hello Tommy, welcome back.” That voice.

That nightmare come true, it was Dream, of course it was Dream. Dream wouldn’t just let him die, wouldn’t just let him be at peace…

Tommy could see him now, hovering nearby with his mask hanging around his neck. He could remember the man punching him, pushing him until his head hit the cell floor too hard for recovery. The blond shoved himself into a sitting position, having to get used to his limbs again. He wondered how he had never noticed the weight of them before. He scanned the room briefly, eyeing the pattern on the floor—

No.

No!

“TUBBO!” Tommy tossed himself forward, stumbling and crawling over to where his friend lay still. Too still. Deathly still. “Please, Tubbo!” 

He was dead… butchered here, blood flowing and filling the carved grooves in the floor. His eyes were open and blank, staring at nothing, brown hair matted with blood. Tommy knelt in front of him, hand hovering over the hole in his stomach that now only oozed small amounts of blood, no heartbeat to fuel it. 

“You—you fucking bastard!!!” Tommy turned and snarled. Dream did this, Dream—

“Hey, hey, he asked me to do this you know. He’s the one who got me out of prison, he knew this would happen. You can’t blame me.” Dream scuffed at the ground with his foot, restlessly shifting his weight despite the casual ease of his words. “I didn’t mean to kill you, I wanted to bring you back too.” 

Tommy finally dared to touch Tubbo, but gently, so softly as if afraid his friend would melt away if he wasn’t careful. He pulled Tubbo to his chest, running a hand over his face to close his eyes for the final time. As he cradled the brunette close, he noticed something odd…

Tommy rubbed the bandanna Tubbo had tied around his wrist between his fingers, it wasn’t his. It wasn’t the matching ones that they had… it was different. This bandanna was black and red, the colors of Manburg… Tubbo hated Manburg… Tommy knew this was a weird detail to fixate on, but…

_“don’t listen to Dream. Just run, trust me”_

The words echoed in his mind. Tommy untied the bandanna, gently wiping the drying blood off Tubbo’s face with the cloth. It was only when he adjusted Tubbo’s arm that he noticed it. There were words written on Tubbo’s wrist, previously hidden. A message that only Tommy would know to find.

**Run, trust me**

Trust…

Tommy heard Dream fidgeting behind him, groaning impatiently. This was a nightmare… Tubbo was dead and Dream was free. How could there be anything good? 

But Tubbo…

“I trust you.” Tommy whispered the words close to Tubbo’s ear, wondering if he was with Wilbur. 

Then he laid his best friend’s body back down on the stained floor, arranging him comfortably on his side. He could come back for him later… Tommy’s heart ached with despair. But he trusted, so he jumped to his feet and ran down the tunnel. 

“Tommy!!! Come back here!” Dream shouted after him, giving chase immediately. “You know this is only going to make it worse, I’ll catch you soon!” 

Tommy sprinted out of the cave mouth in into the woods blindly, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the brightness of the sun. Too bright… too bright for such a terrible day. Dream was gaining, of course he was. Dream was always stronger, always in control—

Tommy heard a crash behind him, he turned his head to see, and was so surprised that he almost faltered in his own headlong rush. Dream was struggling, picking himself up off the ground with unsteady limbs, it seemed like his legs were almost rigid. Tommy took the opportunity to gain more distance.

He didn’t know where he was running to, all he knew what that Tubbo told him to run, and he trusted Tubbo. He had to trust Tubbo. There was just nothing else to do. 

To Tommy’s surprise and great relief, he started to recognize some landmarks after a while. He automatically started aiming himself towards the center of the smp, towards where people were, where he could get help. He was still dizzied and unsteady from coming back to life, who knew that dying would make you confused… but he was finding his way.

He found the path. He followed it out of habit more than anything, he didn’t know who or what he was looking for—

“Tommy?” The voice was soft, disbelief evident. “Tommy, is that you? Is it…” Tommy peered forward, seeing someone standing outside his house, laying flowers in the dirt. 

“Sam? Sam!” Tommy rushed over to him, tripping on the edge of the path, but Sam caught him. Sam caught him and pulled him close to his chest, touching his face with a gentleness Tommy couldn’t help but lean into. 

“Are you… Tommy how? I don’t understand…” The creeper hybrid stuttered, disbelief making his voice unsteady. “You died… I—”

“I’m alive now Sam, Dream brought me back.” Tommy spat the words, hating his own explanation. He pulled away from Sam, suddenly remembering abandonment and betrayal. Things were gradually getting less fuzzy in his mind, memories were drawing sharply into focus like a mosaic, all the pieces falling into place. They hurt.

He wasn’t free. Tommy was out of prison, but Dream was too. Dream was…

“Tubbo’s dead… wait no, he can’t… why did I leave him there?!” Tommy felt himself growing panicked as the realizations set in. Tubbo died, Tubbo died, Dream was free, Dream could bring Tubbo back, but he wouldn’t do it for nothing, Tommy would need to do what he said. Dream had all the power, always in control, always—

“Tommy, Tommy breathe. Please, deep breaths, you can do it. Breathe with me, okay?” Sam steadied him, pulling him down the path carefully, guiding each step. “Let’s go to the hotel, we can rest there, we can figure this out. I won’t let Dream hurt you again Tommy, I won’t.”

“No, no Sam, you can’t say that!” Tommy gasped for air as his vision tunneled. “You can’t stop Dream, not now, no one can. If he shows up I’ll do what he says, because Tubbo is dead and that means—no, please—”

Tommy almost fell to the ground when Sam stopped walking, attention split as he looked at a new building. Or rather, as he looked at the person standing outside of it, staring blankly at the front. 

“Ranboo? Ranboo, what are you doing here?” Sam was helping Tommy stay on his feet, but it wasn’t enough. Tommy crumpled to the ground as Sam guided him to the front step, letting him sit as he tried to get Ranboo’s attention.

The enderman hybrid looked empty, eyes wide and completely still. Tommy gasped for air, but managed to get enough to voice his own question.

“Ranboo, why did you let Tubbo do it?” The sound of his voice seemed to snap Ranboo out of whatever trace he had been in. The tall boy shook his head roughly, as if clearing away an unpleasant sound or thought. 

“Uh… how did I get here?” Ranboo looked around cautiously, before startling, jerking back and away from Tommy. “Tommy!? Tommy, holy cow, how are you alive?” 

Tommy scowled, not ready to open this discussion up again, but suddenly Ranboo faltered, fear covering his expression.

“Oh, oh no… where’s Tubbo? Tommy, is Tubbo with you?” The heterochromatic eyed boy peered over Tommy’s shoulder, as if hoping Tubbo was just hiding inside. Tommy slowly shook his head. “No…”

“What’s going on, please someone tell me what’s happened. Ranboo?” Sam was holding his trident with white knuckles, gritting his teeth as he clearly fought to say in control of his own emotions. 

“I—I don’t really remember… I’m sorry. But, I know—” Ranboo’s hands suddenly started flitting about his shirt and pants, searching each pocket until—“Here! Wait no, this isn’t my book.”

Ranboo sounded disappointed, but still retrieved a bundle of envelopes, eyeing them curiously. 

“How did these get here?” Tommy felt faint, he remembered Dream’s smug expression in the cave… he was just another plaything for Dream after all.

Ranboo’s strangled cry drew him back to the present, the tall boy was staring at a piece of paper, hands shaking. Several envelopes fell to the ground when he couldn’t keep his grip any longer, scattering on the steps. 

**Tommy**

The word peered up at him from the stark white paper, carefully written in Tubbo’s unmistakable script. 

Tommy lifted it to his face without thinking, opening it and unfolding the paper within. He saw Sam doing the same with another letter, the older man gasped as he surveyed the contents. Tommy only had eyes for his own.

_Dear Tommy,_

_I really hope you get to read this, and that you don’t feel too badly. I know I wont get to see you, so it was important that I wrote this, you know?_

_I know that you’ll be really angry at my plans, I don’t blame you. But please trust me, it’s going to be okay._

_Sam’s letter says this too, but Dream isn’t really free. Or he is, but, he won’t be for long._

_When I dropped the bombs on the priosn I told Dream he needed medicine for his radiation poisiong, which is true. But I didn’t give him medicine. I gave him a poison called strychnine, which is basically just really deadly. I don’t think he’ll expect it, I don’t think he expects much of me, except to be a pawn._

_I think that works out for the best right now, because he doesn’t think I’m part of the game._

_Unless he does suspect, in which case this whole letter is probably pointless anyway._

_If Dream is still feeling sick he’ll go to get more medicine from Snowchester, and I’ve set a trap there. Nothing elaboarate, but it should keep him there until Sam can go get him. Or he dies, depending on how much of the poison he takes before he realizes it isn’t helping him. But either way, he won’t be able to hurt you Tommy. He won’t be able to control you anymore, or anybody for that matter._

_You can go back to working on your hotel Tommy, won’t that be great? I know Puffy wanted to be friends with you, maybe you should try to talk to her more. And Ranboo, I know you two were friends before, maybe you could be again. I don’t know._

_Please do check on Ranboo though, he’s going to be really upset once he realizes he led me to Dream. It’s really not his fault, I made him do it. I wanted to tell him my plans so badly, but I didn’t know how much Dream would know if Ranboo found out, and I couldn’t risk Dream knowing._

_Mostly though, I’m going to miss getting to spend that time with you. I wanted our hotels to be a fun competition, but I suppose you’ll have to do it without me. That’s okay though, you’ll find another creative way to have fun, I’m sure._

_You’re my best friend Tommy._

_Don’t miss me too much, alright? Let everyone help you._

_-your Tubbo._

_Aka. Big T_

Tommy wiped tears from his eyes with shaky hands, sobs catching in his throat. Was this real? Was Dream really—

“I’m going to Snowchester, you two stay put, alright? I’ll message you when I’m sure it’s safe.” Sam took off in a flash, sprinting away towards the bridge that led to Tubbo’s little snow base. Tommy wondered what exactly his letter had said. 

Ranboo was frozen in place, humming softly as he seemed to be rereading the paper he held, again and again. 

“It’s not real, right?” Ranboo whispered the question to himself, as if he was hoping it was true. “He can’t be gone, he—he wouldn’t—he wouldn’t—”

Tommy met Ranboo’s eyes, both feeling the same pain, the same disbelief and mourning. 

“He would, wouldn’t he?” Ranboo sounded resigned, as it he was forcing himself to take it in. Tommy exhaled heavily, burying his face in his hands. “He would do it for you.” 

The worst part was, Ranboo wasn’t wrong. Tubbo would, for Tommy. 

Though Tommy would have done the same for him. It hurt to think of Tubbo now, laying alone in that cave, surrounded by symbols and blood. It was wrong to leave him there for any longer than was necessary. No, he needed to get Tubbo out of there, now. Tommy had made up his mind, and he stood with a sort of morbid determination.

He would go get Tubbo’s body. 

“Come on Ranboo.” Tommy extended the invitation with no amount of enthusiasm, but the taller boy followed along nonetheless. It seemed neither of them wanted to be alone right now. 

Tommy led the way into the trees, retracing his steps from earlier. 

He would go to Tubbo… then he could figure out how to conceive of a world without him.

* * *

“Tubbo?” 

Tubbo stood without standing, without really feeling any limbs as he was enveloped in a comfortable warmth. He turned to look at the person who spoke his name, and wasn’t surprised to see Wilbur standing there, confusion written across his face. Still… Tubbo knew what this meant. He slumped back to the ground, dropping to his knees. 

“Hi Wilbur.” Tubbo fought to keep a smile on his face as the taller man dropped in front of him, crouching to be at his level. He was really dead…

“Tubbo, what just happened? One minute Tommy was here, and then he was pulled away, and now you?” Wilbur shook his head, concern lacing his voice. Tubbo chuckled lightly, why was he in such a rush? They would have as long as they wanted to explain now…

“I had Dream bring him back, but it required an… exchange.” Tubbo shrugged pursing his lips in a humorless smile. “It’s okay though, don’t worry about him, I also poisoned Dream.” 

“What?” The other person’s voice was still raspy, even in the afterlife. Tubbo wondered if he somehow was still finding cigars to smoke in this land-after-death. “When did we install a fucking revolving door in here?”

“Hello Schlatt.” Tubbo tried to feel happy, his plan had succeeded, Tommy was alive and free. It went according to plan, it went—

Tubbo stifled a sob, fighting to keep from crying. Wilbur reached out a hand in comfort, face compassionate—but it passed right through his shoulder. 

“Wait, Tubbo… why can’t I touch you?” Wilbur tried again, seeming to get frustrated as he couldn’t make contact. Tubbo wiped his eyes, looking up with another apathetic shrug. 

How would he know?

“Wait… Are you telling me that crazy book actually worked? I wrote that riding a high after popping like four totems of undying in a row, I can’t believe he managed to even read it.” Schlatt laughed hardily, approaching without seeming to really move.

“Yeah, I guess it did, because Tommy’s not here anymore and I am.”

“You wrote the damn book Schlatt, could something about what Dream did be why Tubbo isn’t fully here?” Wilbur held out an arm, making sure Schlatt couldn’t get any closer to Tubbo. He appreciated the gesture, it wasn’t like he was particularly comfortable around the person who planned his execution…

“No, I don’t think so at least.” Schlatt belched loudly mid-sentence. “Must be something about Tubbo. What’d you do kid?” 

Tubbo sighed, wondering just how much he had screwed this up. 

“I had a totem on me, if that makes a difference, though it obviously didn’t work. I didn’t—I didn’t really think it would, but… but…” Wilbur leaned forward; face torn with sympathy. 

“You didn’t want to die, did you Tubbo?” 

“No, I mean, I was okay with it. I was. I just wanted to hope that maybe, you know, maybe I could get to be happy too. With Tommy and Ranboo, after everything. But now—now I can’t even hug you!” Tubbo wrapped his own arms around himself as he broke into sobs, all the weight and exhaustion seeming to roll off him in waves, the dam finally breaking. “I messed it up again!”

“Shhhhh Tubbo, it’s alright… you’re safe here.” Wilbur leaned forward, as if trying to block out everything around him. 

Their moment was interrupted by a loud cackle, Schlatt’s laughter ringing in Tubbo’s ears. Wilbur turned angerly, opening his mouth in preparation of biting words, but Schlatt beat him to it.

“Totems don’t work instantly. I should know, I’m the reason you can’t find many of them around anymore. Dying and coming back gives you a feeling of escape you wouldn’t believe, if you’re in the right mindset. Or drunk… really drunk.” Schlatt stepped forward, this time shoving Wilbur aside, undeterred. “And yours might still work. Let’s see how badly you’re hurt.” 

Tubbo gasped as the horned man passed a hand in front of his face and his injuries started to appear on his skin. He hadn’t really noticed that they were gone, it was such a relief to be free from pain, and they still didn’t hurt… but Wilbur’s ghostly face paled. Schlatt stepped back, seeming proud of his work. 

“Totems don’t heal you like a respawn does, just kinda restarts your heart and shit. So unless you’ve got potions on you… we’ll be seeing you again very soon.” With the final words Schlatt sauntered off, disappearing into one of the many doors that opened and closed in the word behind where Wilbur and Tubbo sat on the sand. Wilbur slowly stood, clearly evaluating Tubbo as he circled around him. Eventually the taller man returned to sit in front of him, lips pursed. 

“You want to live?” The question hung in the air heavily, but Tubbo sensed no judgement in Wilbur’s tone. This place was safe, clearly you could control your environment… but it wasn’t home. 

Tubbo nodded firmly.

“Yes, yes I want to live, if I can.” 

“Okay, do you have any potions on you?” Wilbur got to work immediately, waving a hand to produce the image of Tubbo’s clothing and belts with sewn pouches. 

“Yeah, I’ve got two healing and one regen. Oh, and a strength potion.” Tubbo gestured to the pockets that housed them, trying to remember the exact placement. 

“Good, okay. Now Tubbo, this is very important, did you go unconscious before he stabbed you, or after?” 

Tubbo grimaced in reminder, looking down to see the painless puncture now visible in his torso. 

“After, I remember him stabbing me.” 

To his surprise, Wilbur breathed a heavy sigh of apparent relief, seeming to relax slightly. 

“Good, that’s really good. It means your head wound alone probably wasn’t enough to kill you. That would be much harder to deal with, if it was.” Wilbur went back to a moment of contemplation, before speaking up again, tone instructional and orderly. It reminded Tubbo of L’Manburg, and of hope. “First off you’ll need to drink one of the healing potions, as quick as you can once you wake up. Make sure you know exactly where it is, don’t stop to look around, just drink it.”

Tubbo mimed the movement several times, reassuring himself he could do it under duress. Wilbur smiled at him. 

“Then grab the other and pour it on your stomach, do you have any cloth or bandages?” 

“I’ve got a bandanna, probably.”

“Okay, you’ve got to hold that tightly to the injury, you can’t afford to lose more blood. It’s going to hurt, but you know that. You’ve got to do it. Then drink the regen potion, then the strength.” Tubbo nodded along with Wilbur’s instructions, carefully making certain he could perform each step without thinking. “As soon as you can, stand up and start moving. You need to get to help before the potions wear off. You’re too hurt for them to heal you entirely, but if you can get to someone… you’ll make it.” 

Tubbo felt a breeze blow across him, almost chilly, a sharp contrast from the warmth that had surrounded him since his arrival. He shivered despite himself. 

“I believe in you Tubbo, and thank you. As much as I missed Tommy… it’s not his time yet. And I don’t think it’s yours either.” 

Tubbo wasn’t prepared to be yanked away, submerged in cold as if suddenly dunked underwater. He was less prepared to be stuffed back in his body, like a hand into an ill-fitting glove, ungracefully forced back into his skin. Golden magic swirled around him as the totem on a thread around his neck dissolved to dust. 

Tubbo breathed. 

Within his first breath he was already in motion, knowing he didn’t have much time before his restarted heartbeat pumped his already too-cool blood out of his body. The first potion was downed instantly, only slightly fumbling at the cork with numb fingers. The second was almost spilled, but Tubbo managed to get most of it into the wound that was starting to bleed again, blood forcing its way between his fingers. 

The bandanna wasn’t on his wrist, but that was good, that meant Tommy saw his message. It was next to him, and Tubbo stuffed it almost into the tear in his skin, gasping in pain as it flared anew. Everything hurt—

Tubbo drank the regen potion next, his body aided by the totem giving him enough energy to function for a moment longer, another second, another minute…

It soothed some of the pain, though it still hurt to press the makeshift bandage into an open gash. Tubbo gritted his teeth and fought through it. It wasn’t as bad as fireworks. 

Then strength.

Tubbo wondered if Wilbur had noticed that his leg was broken… but it didn’t matter. The instructions had to be the same. He had to move. He had to—

Tubbo let himself cry out in pain as he pushed himself to his knees, leg twisting behind him. It hurt, it hurt… He grabbed the nearest object, Dream’s discarded axe, and used it as a makeshift cane. It was too heavy to move easily, too ungainly… but he made it work.

He had to make it work, because he had to move. He had to get out of here if he wanted to live.

And Tubbo wanted to live. All his self-preservation instincts, pushed down and repressed for so long, were coming back with a vengeance. He wanted to see Tommy, he wanted to survive, he wanted to hug his friend again and—

Tubbo made it to the mouth of the cave. He vaguely knew the direction of the main SMP, so he hobbled in that direction. After a few feet he found a sturdy stick that didn’t require both hands to lift, so it replaced the axe, giving him a free hand to clutch to his stomach. He hoped it would stop bleeding…

His head ached too, Tubbo wondered what Wilbur had seen when he walked behind him. It throbbed and Tubbo was certain he would have felt much more dizzy if not for the strength potion coursing through his veins. Each step was pain, a struggle to say upright and not to stumble. Tubbo knew that if he let himself fall it would be impossibly difficult to get back up.

He needed to get to help…

Tubbo wanted to live. 

* * *

Tommy walked slowly through the woods with Ranboo, retracing his mad dash away from the cave where he had returned to life. 

The place where Tubbo had lost his. 

He knew that Sam had told them to stay put, but he didn’t really care about safety at the moment. Besides… if Tubbo’s plan didn’t work, then staying away from Dream didn’t matter. Not for him and Ranboo at least. 

The boy whose time never seemed to come, and the boy with two faces. 

Dream wouldn’t kill either of them, not again. 

Tommy didn’t speak, letting the sounds of the woods and their own footsteps take the stage for once. There was no need for conversation, there was nothing to say. Tommy was silent.

The quiet was probably how he heard the other set of stumbling, awkward, steps. Leaves crunched underfoot from nearby and Tommy froze. He held an arm out, making Ranboo halt beside him. Okay, so maybe he was concerned about seeing Dream…

Slowly, carefully, Tommy crept towards a tree. He hesitantly peered around it, not knowing what could be waiting on the other side—

He pulled air into his lungs with a desperate gasp, not comprehending—not believing…

“Tubbo?” 

Tommy stepped out from behind the tree, because Tubbo was there. Tubbo was limping through the forest, using a random stick as a cane, one hand clutched to his blood-stained stomach. Tubbo was breathing and moving and—

Alive.

“Tommy? Tommy!” Tubbo tried to rush towards him, face lighting up in a smile, so genuine and hopeful that Tommy didn’t know how to respond. But Tubbo didn’t quite make it there, his cane caught on a root and was yanked out of his hand, he was falling… Tommy jumped forward to catch him.

“Tubbo how? You were dead, I saw your body…” Tommy held Tubbo to his chest, embracing him desperately, holding him tightly as if his grip could prevent Tubbo from ever leaving him again. 

“Well, so were you.” Tubbo chuckled, laughter seeming so foreign to Tommy’s ears. “But uh… oh…”

Tubbo’s grip around Tommy loosened as he suddenly whimpered, Tommy pulled back to look at him, eyes growing wide as Tubbo’s face drew into a grimace. 

“I think my strength potion is wearing off… um…” Tubbo shuddered, and Tommy was terrified. “I’m going to need some help, I think…”

Tommy adjusted Tubbo in his arms, arranging the smaller boy so he could lay with his head on Tommy’s shoulder, he looked up at Ranboo, who was hovering over them both anxiously. 

“Do you have potions?” Ranboo shook his head, previous smile fading as he too got a look at Tubbo’s injuries. 

“No… but I have a god apple in my enderchest!” Ranboo looked around urgently, clearly evaluating where they were exactly in relation to the SMP proper. “I’ll run and get it! Just make sure he’s awake so he can eat it when I get back.” 

Tommy nodded firmly, watching as Ranboo disappeared at a sprint. Then he turned his attention back to Tubbo. Tubbo who looked up him peacefully, relaxed and happy, only the slight tension in his brow belaying his pain. Tommy slowly unlaced his friends fingers from around the blood-soaked cloth that was held to his stomach, replacing the hand with his own, whispering apologies as he applied pressure. 

“I’m sorry big man, I know this hurts…” Tommy shifted so Tubbo was laying flat, with his head and shoulders in Tommy’s lap. Tubbo tensed, but still forced a smile. Tommy knew he had to keep him awake, so he started talking, bold and brash. Hopeful. “How did you do it? I mean, I liked your plan of poisoning Dream, bitch boy deserves it and more, but how did you get him to take it? How are you here?” 

“That’s a few questions Tommy.” Tubbo giggled, wincing as he did so. “I don’t think Dream saw me as a threat. I don’t think he thought I was capable of deceiving him, so when I promised him medicine for radiation poisoning, he just took it. He talked about me being a pawn… but Tommy… I don’t think Dream really understands how chess works.” 

Tommy had to laugh at the serious way Tubbo stated the words, as if it was really important how the game functioned. Tubbo grinned happily.

“Pawns can’t take the king, but if they make it to the other side of the board without being taken, they can become anything. Theoretically, a pawn can be the strongest piece on the board, if it’s in the right place. It just has to survive to get there…” 

“Tubbo, if that is some sort of chess related metaphor, I don’t fucking understand it.” Tommy scoffed as Tubbo giggled again, blinking slowly, blue eyes looking up at him. “So Dream was an overconfident dickhead and didn’t understand that Big T had a plan, but that doesn’t explain how you’re here.” 

“I was getting to that Tommy, be patient.” Tubbo scolded with mock annoyance, but Tommy could tell there was no bite behind the words. “I had a totem, when Dream killed me. I died for a bit, but I came back. That enough explanation for you Tommy?”

The blond snorted and shook his head.

“You don’t have to be fucking patronizing about it.” It was Tubbo’s turn to snort derisively, rolling his eyes dramatically. 

The two sat in silence for a moment, just enjoying the nearly unbelievable fact that they were both here. Both alive, together. 

Tommy shook his head to clear it as his eyes fogged up with long-overdue tears. He looked down to Tubbo, and pursed his lips when he noticed his friend drifting off, eyes unfocused. They weren’t safe yet. But maybe… soon…

“Hey, Tubbzo! Don’t fall asleep on me, I can’t be that boring!” Tommy tried to keep the rising desperation out of his voice. Where was Ranboo? He should be back soon, right? Tubbo blinked heavily, taking a deep breath with more effort than Tommy thought should be necessary. 

“Sorry big man, my head just feels like crap… But I’ll try to stay awake.” 

Tommy leaned over to look at Tubbo’s skull, and winced when he saw the torn skin, still bleeding, though not dangerously. There was a decent gash on the side of his head, wider than was comfortable to look at. It was definitely going to need stiches. 

“How did that happen?” 

“Dream said I needed to die injured like you were for the book to work… though he might have just been lying, no way of knowing for sure.” “An’ he broke my leg so I couldn’t run away, not that I would’ve anyway.” 

Tommy tried not to wince, memories of his own head hitting obsidian flashing across his consciousness. 

“Why didn’t you write in the letters that you had a totem?” The thought occurred so suddenly that Tommy surprised himself by speaking it. Tubbo’s face fell into a distant frown. 

“I… I didn’t really believe it would work. I wouldn’t have wanted for you or Ranboo to think—to have hope that I was alive if I wasn’t.” Tommy had to bite his lip to keep hold of a scathing remark. He could scold Tubbo for dying for him, for sacrificing himself, later. There would be time for that.

Because they both were going to survive this, Tubbo would be fine. If Ranboo could only get back here any fucking faster with that enchanted golden apple. 

“But I wanted to live Tommy, I promise… I hoped it would work—” Tubbo stared up at him intently, eyes studying his expression. “I really did want to live. It wasn’t like it was with the discs Tommy, it was worth it if I died, but I did care—I did care if I survived in the end.” 

Tommy forced his face to relax, forced a smile, even if he hated the idea of Tubbo being gone, sacrificed so he could live on. He hated it… but he understood. He would have done the same after all, how angry could he be?

“You’re here now Tubbo, and I am going to show you the massive Tommy Innit hotel when we get back! It’s going to be the greatest thing ever on this server.” 

“Oh, well, I think you might have some competition for that Tommy…” Tubbo grinned mischievously, though it was weaker than his expression from a few minutes prior. “I’ll have to show you the Bee n’ Boo! It’s going to be—”

Tubbo was cut off by his own gasp, choking as he shuddered. Tommy felt adrenaline rush through his veins anew. 

“Tubbo, what’s wrong?! Talk to me, okay? Tell me what’s happening big man.” 

Tubbo took several halting breaths before he managed to talk, voice obviously pained.

“I think the regeneration potion is wearing off… It just hurts a lot worse all of a sudden.” The brunette’s eyes grew foggy as he gritted his teeth together, one hand seeming to move by itself to grab Tommy’s wrist where it was pressing down on the wound. Tubbo shuddered again, hand crumpling the sleeve in his fist as he fought back a whimper. 

“Shit.” Tommy leaned down, having to pull against Tubbo’s grip to keep consistent pressure. His hand was wet with blood, but it wasn’t too much he didn’t think… the pressure was helping, he couldn’t stop even though it was hurting him. “I’m sorry Tubbzo, just hang in there, Ranboo will be back soon and then the apple will help. You know how magic those are, once you eat it you can rest and then I’ll take you back to our hotels and we’ll fix you up—”

Tommy realized belatedly that he was rambling, tears starting to streak down his cheeks as Tubbo tried to twist away from him and cried out in pain, far less coherent than even a few minutes prior. 

“Please Tubbo, can you hear me, listen to my voice.” Tommy leaned down to hold Tubbo still with his other arm, carefully taking his hands with his own and keeping them on his chest and away from the wound. 

“I—please it hurts Tommy… I hear you, m’ sorry… I’m sorry…” 

“It’s okay Tubbo, you’re okay, just try to sit still. You’re doing great, you hear me? You’re doing great.” Tommy faltered in his breathing, holding back sobs as Tubbo trembled and gasped. Once he was certain Tubbo wasn’t going to try and push him away again, Tommy released his restraining grip, using that hand to gently wipe Tubbo’s face and dry his tears. 

“I won’t fall asleep Tommy, I don’t want to die, really—” Tubbo leaned into his touch, calming a little as some of the shock of sudden pain eased. “Keep talking, please.” 

“Okay, okay Tubbo. Listen, do you remember that little vacation home I have, and the railway to get there? I’m thinking about making something like that to my hotel so people can travel…” Tommy rambled, making sure Tubbo would respond occasionally, keeping him distracted as best he could. 

Where the fuck was Ranboo—

Rapid footsteps put Tommy on edge, but then he breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Ranboo dashed between the trees and almost ran directly into them, skidding to a stop with a bag around his shoulders. Immediately he dropped to the ground, digging around in the parcel until he found what he was looking for.

“Here! Have him eat this!” 

Tommy received the glowing golden fruit with a sort of reverence. These were rare… but this was the best use that Tommy could think of for one of the items. He nodded at Ranboo as the other boy helped him move Tubbo into a sitting position, he needed to be able to eat it without choking. 

“Tubbo, Ranboo’s back, he’s got this!” Tommy gently cupped Tubbo’s chin in his hand, not letting it drop limply to his chest. “Look big man, the best that money can buy ehh? Eat up.” 

Tubbo murmured something unintelligible, but Tommy took it as agreement enough. With a considerable amount of prompting the smaller brunette started eating the miracle fruit, each bite getting stronger as it started to immediately show effects. The apple was soon gone, and Tommy felt some of the tension leave him when Tubbo’s eyes grew more focused again.

Tubbo’s skin started to regain a little color, and though it was only a temporary solution at best, now it would be safe to move him. Ranboo had another little surprise as well. 

“Here, put this on the stab wound.” The enderman hybrid held out a potion, shrugging when Tommy gave him an inquiring look. “I grabbed a couple from the house where I found the enderchest, I don’t think whoever’s they are will mind. Besides, I’m sure Sam has enough to pay them back tenfold.”

Tommy nodded appreciatively, though he couldn’t fight back a snide remark.

“Ranboo, please tell me you didn’t burn the house down somehow, since stealing is how this whole mess started after all.” Ranboo rolled his eyes and Tubbo snorted, managing to hold himself upright now, though still obviously too weak to walk. 

Tommy spent a few more minutes tending as best he could to Tubbo’s injuries, before eventually lifting the smaller boy into his arms. Tubbo let out a shocked yelp, startled for a moment before letting his head rest on Tommy’s shoulder. 

“You can rest now Tubbo, like I promised. We’ll take you home.” 

“M’ alright… I’ll just rest my eyes for a bit….” Tubbo mumbled the words, already drifting off.

“Sure big man, you do that.” 

Tommy carried Tubbo most of the way home, hesitant to let Ranboo help. But eventually he relented, passing Tubbo off once he just couldn’t carry him any longer. Ranboo was gentle, so gentle as if he thought Tubbo might shatter. Tommy couldn’t help but find it somewhat endearing, even if he had to fight the urge to mock him for it at the same time.

There was a brief argument about whether to go to Tommy’s hotel or Tubbo’s, but when Tubbo stirred and mumbled in annoyance at the noise Ranboo accepted Tommy’s “clearly superior hotel” as their destination. 

Tommy carefully settled Tubbo onto the closest bed, urging Ranboo to go and find someone to help fix him up. It wasn’t that Tommy didn’t know how… but dying and coming back to life had its drawbacks, including most of his possessions being currently stuck in the locker room of the prison. 

Tommy found breathing easier once Tubbo was resting comfortably, safe. 

Safe… It was hard to believe that they could be safe.

That they could be free, due to the actions of a single pawn.

* * *

Tubbo woke up safe and comfortable for the first time in far too long.

For a while he was confused, though not alarmed. He just blinked his eyes open in the half-lit room, adjusting to the streaks of sunlight coming in through the windows. It was warm and comfortable, Tubbo found himself bundled in blankets in the soft red bed. It was only when he rolled over that he started to puzzle out where he was, when he started to remember what had happened. 

It came back slowly… the events of talking to Dream, of hatching a plan to get Tommy back and get rid of Dream at the same time. The nukes, Ranboo—poor Ranboo…

Dying. He had died, he remembered that all too well. But, he came back. He came back and found Tommy and then… well… everything was blurry from there. But now he was safe, he knew it because when he rolled over Tommy was there, curled up next to him, snoring softly. And Tommy wouldn’t sleep if there was danger. 

Carefully Tubbo reached up and touched his head, wincing when he found the bandages, but generally grateful for the wrappings. His torso was similarly treated, Tubbo could tell there had been a lot of potions used on it, because it hurt far less than it should have. His leg was practically immobile in its cast, but that was to be expected. It would take a while for the bone to heal anyway. 

“Hey Tubbo… good to see you awake.” Tubbo tilted his head the other way to find the person who spoke, and was unsurprised to see Sam sitting in a chair near the doorway. The creeper hybrid smiled at him warmly. 

“How long—” Tubbo’s voice was rough, so he paused to clear it. Immediately Sam was at his side, holding a glass of water to his lips, offering it delicately. Tubbo drank appreciatively, then settled back down, sitting up enough to look at Sam across the room. 

“It’s just been a day, you’ve been awake a few other times, though you were pretty out of it, I don’t expect you to remember much.” Sam pursed his lips, eyes suddenly darting to the side. “I… I’m so glad you’re alright Tubbo.” 

The man’s voice was choked with emotion, he bit his lip as he raised his eyes to look at Tommy.

“I can’t believe—I can’t express how happy I am that you’re both here. That Tommy isn’t…” Sam finally met Tubbo’s eyes again, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. “I messed up Tubbo, I let my fear of Dream getting free and failing as the warden overtake what I should have done. You shouldn’t have had to go through all that, to do… to risk what you did to bring Tommy back. It’s my fault, and I know that. But I want you to know that it was never a lie, I really do care for you and Tommy, so much. I’m incredibly sorry Tubbo.” 

The two stared at each other for a long time, trying to read sincerity and truth in each other’s eyes. Tubbo eventually was satisfied. 

“I used to forgive really easily Sam, I don’t think it’s like that for me anymore, but I do believe you.” Tubbo smiled lightly, because it was true. Sam obviously cared, and even if Tubbo didn’t forgive him, he could recognize that fact as truth. “You might have to prove it sometimes, though.” 

Sam smiled, seeming to cry more, relief filled tears running down his face unhindered. 

“I will Tubbo, I’m going to do whatever I can to help.”

Tubbo looked around him curiously, finally figuring out where he was. Honestly Tommy’s hotel was pretty nice… though he would never admit it to his friend’s face. As he pondered Tubbo realized there was still a very important unanswered question left to ask… one he almost was scared to know the answer of.

“Is Dream… gone?” Tubbo felt his hands tighten into fists with bundles of the blanket within them. Sam nodded without hesitation, growing very serious.

“Yes Tubbo, he’s gone. Dead. You’re safe.” 

Tubbo decided he didn’t care to know if Dream was already dead from poison by the time Sam got there or not. It didn’t matter really. Dream was gone now. 

“What about the book?”

“I didn’t find it. I can only assume that Dream put it back in his enderchest. Now that he’s dead… it’ll be locked away forever.” Sam shrugged passively, not seeming to care. Tubbo reflected the sentiment.

“That’s just as well. There are _some people--_ ” Tubbo gave Tommy a significant look. “who might try to do something rash if it was still around.”

“You lot better not be talking shit ‘bout me…” Tommy stirred, groaning as he rubbed his eyes. “Did Tubbo finally decide to join us?” 

Sam chuckled at that, giving Tommy an amused look.

“You’re one to talk, you’ve slept almost as much as he has.”

“What can I say Sam, being dead really takes it out of a person!” Tommy sprung upright, turning to look at Tubbo, obviously trying to hide a grin. “You hear the news then?” 

Tubbo tilted his head, but Tommy answered his own question. Loudly.

“DING DONG THE GREEN BITCH IS DEAD!!!” Tubbo broke down into laughter as Tommy triumphantly cheered, patting Tubbo on the back enthusiastically. “You did it big man!” 

Ranboo chose that moment to enter the room, walking in haltingly, as if nervous. Tubbo gave him a small smile, still feeling guilty about activating whatever control Dream previously held over him. Ranboo sighed heavily at the outburst, rolling his eyes.

“And I’m sure wherever he is now he can hear you shouting all the way from there.” Ranboo muttered the words scornfully, but Tommy seemed to take it as a challenge. 

“You bet he can!!! You hear that?! SUCK IT GREEN BOIIIIII!!!” This time Tubbo couldn’t help but join in, much to Ranboo’s chagrin. 

“I’m going back to my room if you aren’t going to stop shouting, honestly, things were much quieter when you both were dead.” Tommy looked vaguely shocked at Ranboo’s words, until Tubbo let out another uproarious peal of laughter. The deadpan delivery was part of why the enderman hybrid was so funny, and Tommy soon couldn’t help but join in. 

“That’s cold Ranboo! Really cold!” Tommy was breathing heavily from laughing, holding his stomach in amusement. 

“Stop making me laugh you bitch! It hurts!” Tubbo snickered as he tried to calm down, wiping the happy tears from his eyes. 

“Oh I’m sorry, I’ll just go back to listening to your bickering through the walls. Honestly, I’m starting to figure out why Dream wanted you two dead.” Ranboo fought to keep a smile off his face as the two boys broke into laugher once again, the gallows humor being just what they needed. 

At some point Sam had left the room without Tubbo noticing, and he returned just then with plates of food, ruefully bumping Ranboo’s shoulder to get past. 

“Alright, come on, let’s get you some food before you get tired again.” Sam sighed as Tommy immediately threw a bread roll at Ranboo, but Tubbo could see the smile in his eyes. His own face mirrored the happiness. 

They were safe. 

“You know Tubbo, Dream was really fucking dumb for underestimating you.” Tommy spoke around a mouthful of food, suddenly growing distant. Tubbo reached out to grab his friend’s arm. “If it was me, I wouldn’t have had a plan at all. I would have just done whatever, and we probably be in a lot worse position than before. But you… you worked it out Tubbo. You got promoted, or whatever shit chess metaphor you were using before.” 

“I…” Tubbo thought about protesting, about arguing against himself… but the look in Tommy’s eyes gave him pause. “Thank you Tommy.” 

For a moment Tommy looked at him and floundered, obviously trying to find the words to say something. Tubbo nodded as Ranboo and Sam quietly took their empty plates and left the room. Then he waited patiently as Tommy worked it out. 

“You—you shouldn’t have done that shit sacrifice thing. I don’t like it one fucking bit, okay Tubbo?” Tommy bit the words off short, as if trying to control his tone. “But… I’m glad—you’re here and I’m not dead in some stupid—stupid fucking cell and—”

Tubbo held out his arms as Tommy collapsed into them, holding him close and sobbing into his shoulder. 

“I didn’t want to go Tubbo, not like that, you know? Not with fucking Dream—it was so shit, such a shit thing! And now I’m back and you—you did it. You really did. And I should be angry that you fucking risked your own life to bring me back, but I’m so selfish that I’m just happy to be alive!” 

Tommy stopped his ranting for a moment, sniffling. Tubbo took the opportunity to speak.

“You’re not selfish Tommy. I know… I know I said it before, but I was wrong. You’re a great friend, and I’m glad you’re here, I don’t know how I could have gone on without you…” Tubbo felt his own eyes growing damp. “I made my own decision Tommy, and yeah, it could have gone wrong—but it didn’t! It didn’t. We’re both here… and I think that’s what matters right now.” 

It took a while for both boys to dry their faces, and a lot more apologies were given and accepted in that time, but eventually they did. Tubbo sat back and leaned against the backboard of the bed, smiling lightly as it creaked beneath him. 

“You know, my hotel has better beds.” 

And then it was started again, laughter and jokes and pretend anger that never really meant anything besides friendship. Ranboo came back soon, and before long all three of them were crying from laughter. 

Tubbo himself kept finding some extra tears in his eyes though… occasionally he would just look around and be surprised. 

They were really here, together, and it was safe. It was a relief he didn’t ever know if he would get. 

So if he was a little misty eyed, no one made note of it. 

They all were, really. 

Life would move forward, and it wouldn’t always be easy, but right then, in that hotel room, they were happy and safe. Sam was outside, never intending to let them get in any real danger again if he could help it. Puffy was starting up her therapy office, and the boys would have as many free appointments as they would accept. 

The prison was empty, and would never be occupied again. 

It would take time to truly believe it, but Tubbo knew eventually he could comprehend a world at peace.

Laughter rang out into the air, and it was safe.

**Author's Note:**

> HI!!!!  
> I really hope you enjoyed this story! It was an idea I had that I just needed to write....
> 
> Fun fact, when Dream started to get restless and fidgety after Tommy came back, that was a reference to the real effects of the poison Tubbo gave him. I did my totally unnecessary research.   
> Also, decide for yourself if Dream was dead when Sam arrived, or if he was killed after, readers choice :))) 
> 
> I love hearing peoples responses to my stories, and I so appreciate any comments!!   
> They really make my day <3  
> Thank you for reading!!  
> \--R&T


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